Those three days....

So, it's Easter weekend.  People talk about Jesus on the cross, Jesus in the garden, the darkness and earth shaking when He died.  They rejoice in the resurrection.

However, we miss something that I find to be VERY important.  The disciples. Everything they believed up until that fateful weekend. Then, their entire world fell apart.

Have you ever spent 'dry' time?  When you don't hear from God? When you almost wonder if He's even there? You know, those times where you stay home from church because 'what if they can tell that God isn't talking to me?'  Yeah, those times.  The times where no amount of tears and pleading and begging will reconnect you.

That was 'Easter weekend' for the disciples, for the women who followed him, for everyone who believed that Jesus was King. Not only were they afraid for their physical lives but for their spiritual ones too.  If Jesus was not who He said He was then they had walked away from the Jewish traditions and were guilty of betrayal as well.

Just sit in that for a bit, we all want the good feeling that Jesus brings.  We want the "Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full--pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back." (Luke 6.38) We want the future that God has promised - "For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (Jere 29.11) We want THOSE things.  We forget that Jesus said "Do you remember what I told you? 'A slave is not greater than the master.' Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you."  So we will be persecuted, not always by the people around us because we don't always fight flesh and blood.  Ephesians 6.12 tells us "For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." So, they heavy desperation, the depression, the sadness, the darkness, the plea for help to God that seemingly goes unheard...that is what we need to fight against.  Just as the disciples did.

They had to fight against that same set of demons. It started in the Garden, with Jesus (well, it really started  in the Garden with Adam and Eve but I mean for the disciples) and won't finish until Jesus comes back again.

I am leaving you with this video on Easter Eve.  Do YOU remember the Garden? Do YOU remember Jesus' prayers? Do you remember the REAL reason why Easter Sunday was such a relief?  Will you let your weight be lifted when you recall that Jesus DID rise again on the 3rd day?

Breathe

The pain pushes against me
it takes my breath away
you share your pain with me
I think I'll be able to breathe again
but then you drop the weight
and I can't breath
Promises of truth
Promises of better actions
start to lift it again
but time and again you just drop the weight
letting me suffer
letting the pain get to me
can't you just let me die?
Why do you insist on torturing me?
Giving me just enough air to think I'll make it
Only to cut me off again
leaving me foggy headed and disoriented
I can only lash out because I'm blinded by the lack of oxygen
I don't care where I hit
I want to hurt you back, I want to watch you bleed
I want to tear you apart and make you feel my pain
but still I realize
I can't....breathe.

People Watching

Do you like to people-watch?  I love it.  It's possibly one of my favorite things to do.  You will see some of the most amazing things while people watching.  I've watched homeless men feed birds, when they themselves are hungry. I've seen husbands and wives love each other unconditionally, I've seen children in awe of small wonders. 

I enjoy the outdoors for people watching more than I do the indoors, except when Santa is at the mall.  That brings out a whole new level of 'crazy' and it's rather amusing.

I can't wait for spring/summer when it's warm enough to spend time on State St just people watching and snapping pictures.

~Simply Dwyn

Silent Snow

Silent Snow
screams loudly from the sky
piling up around my car
tucking it in with a nice fluffy white blanket
the brisk air filled with moisture and precipitation
hurries the walkers and the bike riders and the people crossing the road
it distracts me at my desk, watching the giant flakes rush to the ground
as if it's a race to the finish, a duel to the death
the mound of flakes all melt together
Each is individual but they seem to stick together as if they don't want to be different
They want to blend in and not seem different
perhaps we should stop emphasizing how each one is unique
and just comment that they are all white
or all cold
or all just simply precipitation
perhaps we should just let them be mindless, faceless little flakes waiting for the their turn through the snow blower of life.

Two-fer Tuesday ;)

Trapped inside myself
hating what I say
hating what I do
my life is a struggle
Every day brings a challenge
Do I go over the mountain?
Do I go through the tunnel?
Or do I sit at the foot of the mountain declaring it's too big?
I can see what I should do or say
But then I watch myself do exactly the opposite
I am trapped in my own mind...
          struggling to escape.

~Simply Dwyn



Pepsi or Coke, how about a smoke?
that crap makes me choke
you have a choice to make
it's your heart to break
it's your claim to stake
but you make my body ache
smiling in your easy chair
with that come-hither stare
you make the choice so easy
it really isn't fair
hand me the can
I'm your biggest fan
and in the end, we know who'll win
It's a decision to make
a heart to break
but
I choose you
cold
refreshing
Mountain Dew.

~Simply Dwyn

Free Writing

I like to 'free write'...some of you may remember this from English class and shudder but I've always enjoyed it.  I can do it in minutes and all I need is a word to start with...if you're brave post a 'word' or phrase in the comments and I'll post a free write using it ;)

I'm going to share a few on here that I've written in the past!  We'll start with my favorite ~I wrote this on 8-28-09 and it's called 'Tinkerbell':

Should of, would of, could of... Don't should on yourself, hell, don't should on me, in my general direction, near me even...go should in your own space and let me be go on now don't be that way you just wish you were me, living my life but it's not daisies and roses it's more like dandelions and tomato plants, sometimes they look beautiful and sometimes they are diseased and gross and sometimes they turn white and blow off into the wind.  What will you do then? Will you follow the little white tufts as they blow down the street under the cars and into the sea? I can't chase dreams, or people, or stars or cars. I can live in the here and now and be who I am and see what I see and feel what I feel or I can fade away into oblivion waiting for the end of time to arrive waiting for me to finally give in and say good night, but I don't want to go gently into that good night I want to kick and claw and take all ya'll with me.  Heaven is just up those stairs and you can get there with just a little prayer, a lot of love and a sprinkle of faith.  No pixie dust needed, Tinkerbell is a bitch anyway, she wanted Peter all of herself, he was her puppet, her toy for eternity and that Wendy girl was going to take him away.

Bit My Tongue

I revel in the pain
of your self-inflicted misery
I yearn to point out
your stupid mistakes
my tongue aches
from biting it
for days or months on end
keeping your delusions of grandeur
to myself and from your eyes
But the lies begin to pile up
and my tongue begins to bleed
I can taste the acrid smell
and feel the warm fluid
I open my lips
to speak the truth
and you smile and nod
with your smug little grin
and I sigh
close my mouth
swallowing the bitter taste you leave....

~Simply Dwyn (copyright 6/15/10)